Religion isn't the enemy....

Part I – If religion isn’t the enemy, what is?

Religion seems to take the brunt of the blame for much of humanity’s frailties, abuses, oppressions and egoic needs for control and domination. People have been fighting, oppressing, suppressing, controlling, dominating and manipulating others for centuries. A large segment of the population today believes that “religions” are the main culprit. The reality is that dominators and oppressors will use any excuse, rationalization, justification, rationale or scapegoat that is in their world view for these abuses. People have used race, ethnicity, gender, nationality and just about every other outward identity as the motivating factors for conflict and hostility.  For some reason, though, religion seems to be the lightening rod scapegoat more than any other factor. Why is that?

There is no question that religion has been used throughout history to justify discrimination, oppression, control and domination. No question. That continues into present day. Religion, however, does not have a monopoly on such malice, hate and hostility. We’ve seen oppression around the world based on ethnicities, gender and nationality with equal fervor.  Genocides, displacement, and oppressive and suppressive societal controls have been forced onto certain segments of the population on every continent at some point. Some believe that the religions themselves promote inequities and discrimination based on identities such as gender, sexual orientation and other religious affiliations. Do they really, though?  Take women as an example, which is the most commonly oppressed identity with religious justifications, particularly with Islam and Christianity. In the times of both Jesus and Muhammad, women had leadership roles around them and in their community which both teachers embraced, supported and respected. Interpretations of these religions’ holy books saying otherwise have been distorted and taken out of context. Both Jesus & Muhammad believed they were servants to their people, embraced other cultures, ethnicities, professions and genders and were never biased or discriminatory based on an identity.

What about ethnic and nationality oppression? Is religion really responsible for some hostilities but then something else is responsible for others?  These purported justifications for discrimination and hostility are gross distortions and cherry-picking out of context certain limited statements in religious sacred texts. This also presumes that you define a “religion” by what is currently viewed as the institutionally sanctioned sacred text and dogma of the day. In any event, there is little in any religion that truly justifies hostility or oppression towards any group or identity.  Despite this, religion, as much or more than anything else like money and power, is viewed by so many as the ultimate world corrupter.

 I contend that it is not in fact religion, or money, or power, or anything else outside us that motivates and drives thoughts, emotions and behaviors towards “us” and “them”.  Money, religion, and power are just tools, and not the underlying cause or problem. All of these behaviors and mentalities arise

from one thing. The ego. It is the ego run amok – our shadows - that justify oppression, control, domination, bias and hostilities. It is not a religion, or a flag, or money, or power that corrupts. All of these are just vehicles to carry our own egoistic hate and need to feel superior over others and our environment by controlling and dominating others. Our egos will use anything and everything at our disposal to justify and tell ourselves the stories that rationalize our desired beliefs that we are superior and our resulting behaviors.

Stay tuned for this ongoing discussion….

Master Your Ego's Shadow & Take Back Your Power

Identities – Remembering Who You Are

Most of us gain some sense of empowerment and connection to others through the various identities we subscribe to, whether by birth or otherwise: race, gender, ethnicity, nationality, geographic region, religion, etc.  These identities appear on the outside to give us a sense of pride, affiliation and sense of community and belonging – in other words, connection. These various identities have value if they’re not taken too seriously or relied upon too deeply for self-worth and connection to others. This is a double-edged sword however, because it not only creates connection, but it also creates separation by dividing us in creating “us” and “them” characterizations. How people choose to reflect those identities can and often is the source of conflict when they view those of different identities as “them” in a negative light instead of in an appreciation of differences that enable us to learn from one another. Instead, some use these identities to fear, misunderstand and hate one another.

There are lessons to be absorbed on both sides of the “us” and “them” identity conversations. For those believing they are part of the “us” conversation, the more we cling to those identities with

white-knuckle steering, the easier it will be for others to unintentionally or intentionally offend or insult us or for us to fear and hate others. Allowing others – even the perceived “them’s” – to produce a response from you of any kind is giving up your power to another. We all can choose how we respond to others. When someone attacks your national flag, your religious icon, your ethnicity, etc., remember that when someone speaks, it says more about them than it does anything or anyone else. Don’t allow another to pull you off your balance by their insults to an identity you claim.

On the other side, for those who see fault with another identity, whether it’s a race, nationality, religion, gender or other, don’t attack or insult a symbol of that identity, whether it be a flag, a book, a look or other inherent association with that identity. If you have a legitimate complaint or criticism, it will never be heard through the insult they feel from your attacking the symbol of their identity.

Attacking these symbols of identities feels like a personal attack to those claiming that identity. They will react with equal fervor against you and even your message because of it. If you communicate a legitimate concern with reason, respect and without invoking your own “them” mentality, chances are you will find many who claim that identity will agree more with you than they disagree. Don’t make concerns personal by attacking identity icons and symbols.

We must learn to have respectful conversations regarding diverse identities and backgrounds, affiliations and experiences. In the end, we should keep in mind that we are all part of the same

community, and these religious, ethnic, gender, national and other identities we claim are all outward identities that have nothing to do with our spirit, soul or inner essence as beings. These outward identities that we may think define our status as humans in this life are not nearly as important as our inner selves, which is who we
really are as individual beings. Who we truly are has nothing to do with race, gender, ethnicity, nationality, geographic region, religion or other external characterization. Who we are is far deeper than these outward identities or what anyone else says we are. Who we truly are is who we are in our hearts – that’s our real connection to one another. What is in your heart is who you really are at any given moment. Where is your heart?

Key to compassion - shine the light on our own shadows

Our expression of anger, hate, judgment or annoyance is more a reflection of ourselves than it is of anything outside ourselves. Therefore, when we feel these emotions, we must look inside further to see what that the shadow in us is saying. 

We can’t be afraid of our shadows as they are as much a part of us as our light and goodness – just like the white and black symbiotic figure of yin and yang. 

When we look in the face of our darker sides, we take away their power and influence over us. Ignoring our shadows and shoving them under the rugs with rationalization, justification, blame and victim mentalities allows them to grow and feed unchecked and unbalanced.

Only when we stare our shadow sides in the face and see what they are and why can we begin to deal with them in a positive way. This begins our healing and release from their grip on us via our fears and judgments which turn into anger and hatreds. Instead, we will begin to understand ourselves more and feel more compassion and empathy towards ourselves (which is not via the enablers of justification, rationalization or blame). 

Then it becomes easier to feel that compassion and empathy for others. 

Hold up that mirror and look inside. 

That is the key to peace, love and compassion.